The chaos of an alcoholic.

Alright, well life has been a complete and utter mess this week. 

It all started with worrying about my brother which turned into my father reminding me what a POS he thinks I am, and how I shouldn't have used the insurance for my appendectomy in May (wtf?), and how I should be this or that-- I could go on, but I'll spare blog land of the gory details of an abusive alcoholic father. He also reminded me that this isn't the life he wanted and that he shouldn't have to work on his hands and knees every day laying tile (he has his own construction business btw) and somehow all of my fathers unhappiness started the day he agreed to my mother not having an abortion-- This is what I concluded anyway based on his choice words about my role in ruining his life..

To my father, I'm an abortion gone wrong.. I am going to be honest here folks.. Even though I know what he says to me is what he really just thinks of himself, it hurts so bad my bones ache. It's devastating when the person you idolized as a child turns out to be a fraud and treats you like you are nothing. If you've ever had an alcoholic in your life, you know how easy it is for them to twist things around.. and somehow-- it is you who has ruined their life.

So my fun meet-the-family Thanksgiving is canceled, and I am trying to find ways to avoid retail therapy to mend my broken heart-- because lets face it, buying new things always makes you feel a little better-- But since I'm broke, cat cuddles and The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills will have to do until my sweet love comes home from work..

I hope everyone is having a happy and healthy week.
I'll be back with something good to share soon...
Including a guest post from the sweet lady at A Sparrow's Flight.


1 comment:

  1. :( o goodness love...
    I'm so sorry you feel that way... All I can say is that you are clearly meant to be on this earth and you have done quite the opposite of ruin peoples lives. I know you have made my life better and I am sure at least R feels the same way...
    I'm here for you girl if you ever need to talk!


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