Lucid dreams, and weird things.

Sometimes, there just is not enough coffee.
My life in dream land is quite active, so I've been waking up feeling exhausted.
I am a pretty regular lucid dreamer, so I know this this partly my fault. 

BUT WHY would I pass up the opportunity to create a dream?
I ask people questions I would never ask them in real life. 
I hang out with friends and family that have passed, I swim in really awesome pools.
I fly around. A lot. 

Exploration of the subconscious is something I struggle with in waking life;
but in dream land, I am brave.

I'm not sure when I had my first lucid dream, but I started being able to do it frequently about 5 years ago. 
In the dream I was walking on this street in Chicago that I frequented and there was a tree in the middle of the street.. and I thought in the dream... 

Why would the City of Chicago plant a tree in the middle of the street?
Then it occurred to me, they didn't and you're dreaming!

I tried to convince the person next to me that we were dreaming and we should fly around the city, but they thought I was nuts, so I levitated my dream self into the sky and explored Chicago from the clouds solo. 

The first several lucid dreams I had all involved me wanting to fly somewhere.
Now I like to swim everywhere in my dreams. 
I have also become a quiet observer in dreams. 
Perched somewhere in the room, listening to the conversations.

The other night I had a dream where my uncle and R's grandfather (both passed) were sitting amongst us.
It was Thanksgiving, and I was explaining a frustration I had with a family member to the group.
And then I noticed my Uncle Chris sitting next to my mother with his arm around her shoulder. 
We made eye contact.
Chris addressed me and told me to give my mother a message. 

When I called my mother that morning to give her the message, she silenced herself,
got choked up and said:
Chris was in my dream last night too; all I wanted to do was get a damn picture of us together.
I was so busy trying to get the picture, that I didn't get to even enjoy him or talk to him. I was so mad that the stupid camera wouldn't work. 

Chris is my mothers youngest brother, he died in a car accident on his way to the airport to visit us in the states just days before Christmas. He was with his new fiance, bringing her home to meet the family. 
I was in 4th grade, which made me about nine years old.

My sister and Father. My little pony, Chris and I. Circa 1990.

Chris comes to me a lot in my dreams. I know a lot of people won't believe this, but he came to me the night he passed too. My mother rushed me back to bed telling me I had a nightmare, then the phone rang with the news. 

I asked him the other night in my dream why he always comes to me. 

He was my sisters godfather, so I always felt like he belonged to her; but I always get advice from him and messages for other family members. I have a dragonfly tattooed on my rib cage in his honor, because I promise you, every hard situation I have experienced in my life there has been some sign, that he was there to remind me of the strength I didn't think I had.

He answered me with;  
It's because you are always open and it never phases you to see someone from the past, while everyone else is very distracted by it. You listen..

This was confirmed when my mother told me how frantic she had become upon seeing him in her dream.


Last night R left me a note on my car. I woke up before I could retrieve it. I was so close, I could see the letter pressed against the glass of my wind shield. The envelope was an off white color, with my name scribed across the front. Earlier in the dream I saw him put the note there, but I was trying to get somewhere on time. I knew I would return to my car but I just didn't have enough of the night left. Stupid alarm clocks. 

I want to know what that letter from my love said.


My grandfather returns from Spain in a few weeks, so I want to make sure the place is in tip-top shape. I'm hoping for a cooler than usual day here in Florida since a lot of my work today will be outdoors. 

Until next time my friends, 

xo, r


  1. oh, how precious that picture is!


  2. Very touching story and the photo to go along with it. Thank you for sharing that much of yourself...I imagine it must not be easy to revisit such difficult memories. Those who have passed never truly leave us, and I feel like you are very fortunate to have these types of dreams.

    Incidentally - do you purposely seek out these lucid dreams or do they just come to you? If you try to cause them, what is your secret? I ask because I've always been fascinated by them...and in all of my attempts to bring them about I have only caused one. The rest were all by accident. I've noticed that most of my lucid dreams occur during naps.


  3. I am observant by nature, and I just take that into my dreams.. I can't do it all the time, even if I am aware that I am dreaming.. I can't always change the situation.

    I usually become aware of a dream when there is something off (I got this tip from the movie Waking Life). Like if a parking lot is covered in water, or a tree in the middle of the street, or people who have passed being present, then that is what usually triggers it.

    Once I have become aware of my dreaming state, I try to do something to take control of the situation.. I use to just start flying, but I would usually wake up. Now that I am frequently aware of my dreaming state, I try to control less and observe more which has actually been a lot more satisfying because I feel like it gives me a lot of answers I need for my waking life. I also take Melatonin regularly before sleeping, which makes my dreams more active. It's been about 5 years of practice, and it's only been the last year or so that I have really been a consistent lucid dreamer, but I have also been sleeping a lot less-- so there are pitfalls.

  4. that's so intense! i've heard of lucid dreaming, but never in such detail...i never really realized what it was like. it seems like a gift...i would give anything to be able to control my dreams and talk to loved ones that have passed on.

  5. If melatonin makes your dreams more active I'm game...because it's been a long time since I had a lucid dream and I really miss them. The last time I had one I remember walking, except I was moving so slowly...as if I were walking through molasses. Gravity felt really heavy. That's when I realized I was dreaming, so I took the flying route...immediately crashed and woke up. Won't be trying that again lol.


  6. Btw, I just had one of these. Odd timing. I wrote about it and mentioned your page. Your lucid dreams sound so concrete...mine are much more abstract.


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