A tall drink of water. Energizing.
It is fitting that I have had time to sit and contemplate this move as November shortens days..
For me, November is a month of planning, reflecting, pushing, and pulling.. November always evokes change for me-- I find it poetic that the onset of November has created a stir in me since before I was born.
After all, this is the month I made my grand entrance into this wild, crazy world.
Last November, I was coming down from the most intense, chaotic year of my life. Most of 2011 is a blur-- I've been referring to it as my lost year.
Essentially, I had a really awful, nearly fatal experience with a prescription drug. (A drug that was prescribed to me, of course) This ultimately catapulted me into a really unstable place mentally and physically.. So for most of 2011, I was just lost.
For the first time in my life, I was lost. Like really, really lost.
I had no faith in my family-- My father and I were having some MAJOR issues. I couldn't be a good friend to anyone. I couldn't be a good partner to Rob.. I was really looking for any and every reason to escape-- I literally had a mental break down that had me hungover for a year.
Last November-- around this time, I went on a trip to Fort Lauderdale with Rob and my mom.. and all these magical things kept happening.
So after being enchanted by a yogi (in this post I also mention moving out west as part of our 5 year plan), I made some changes, lost a lot of weight, got my freaking shit together mentally, and holy crap!
I can say with pure confidence that I have become someone I am proud to be. I still have SO much work to do.. we all do right? If you think your work is done, then a big hoorya to you for being way smarter than the rest of us.
I've been thinking about this quote a lot lately, especially after moving to LA, where it is easy to get lost. Everyone is trying to figure out how they fit in to this crazy puzzel..
"Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events;
small minds discuss people"
.. and after contemplating this for several days, I decided this is the most excellent way to filter quality people from quantity people. Listen.
I know I am knew to town, and when you are past your college days, making friends as an adult is tough.. BUT as I find my way through this city, I have been listening.. Who are the ones that are talking about big ideas, who are the ones talking about the impossible. The wild.
I want to find those people...
You are the company you keep right?
It's been a confidence thing for me-- I went through this phase (a really long phase) of always trying to be accepted for whatever reason.. even if I thought the person wasn't interesting, or even good. I just wanted to make sure I was accepted.. and I found myself in these situations where I would step back and think "WAIT A MINUTE, why am I even bothering with this person!? They are so against everything I stand for" or whatever..
The confidence comes in, and says.. "Well Hey dude, you've got a freaking choice man.. quality or quantity."
(you like how my inner voice sounds like The Dude from the Big Labowski?)
And really, I am just glad to not waste more time!
I had this idea that I was going to close this off with something profound.. so here we are.. and all I have to say is DAMN it's going to be a good year.
In other news:
I got our apartment pretty well organized, so I might share some apt pics soon.