*Note, I already tried posting this this morning from the blogging ap on my ipad-- but for some reason it reposted my chick-fil-a post... so this is the real post i meant to share...
So last night, I was at a social gathering chatting with this guy, and
some others, about some things. Then this one particular girl came up,
one of the guys is recently single and has been sweat'n this girl for a
So he proceeds to ask typical male-pig questions, including inquiries
re: the color of her areola. At this point I was trying not to be a
Fuddyduddy, and since I don't know the group all that well R and I just
shot looks at each other that said "OMFG is this guy for reals"
The next inquiry about this young lady was, "she hasn't slept with a black guy has she?!"
Wait, What? Why does that even matter!?
First of all, I thought it was gross enough that he was asking question about her bra size-- but it was mixed in with some nice complements about her as well, so I thought he was just doing a bad job at being funny. But asking if she slept with a black guy? As if her vagina was now tainted or something? REALLY?
So my next question was exactly that, "why does that even matter?" Then I said, "What? is it a size
thing? Black guy dicks are way bigger than your tiny white penis?"
THEN this guy says, "well no, white girls who sleep with black guys lack a certain taste in men"
So I said, "oh really? Well I've had a relationship with a wonderful guy, who happened to be black, and this is my amazing fiancé, and we are both high quality people, and
that black guy I dated was far more quality than how you are
representing your self at the moment.. "
"So let's get this straight, it's
okay for a white girl to sleep with skeezy, scene-fuck, such as your
self, and the quality of her 'man picker' will not be in question, but
she has a romantic relationship with a black guy who treated her well,
and she now lacks the ability to choose men-- her standards have been
He proceeds to defend his very racist pov and I continue to be the only one in the room willing to say something about it.
So after about 5 mins of this, I stood up and said, "you are disgusting,
and I am not going to defend my character to you, our words in this
conversation have represented us well, and you are not the kind of
person I care to associate with"
Grabbed my shit and left. One of the girls gave me a High five when I
said good bye to the group, and rob told him he didn't blame me for
wanting to leave, but that was it.
Out of 8 adults in that room, not ONE other person called him our for being a racist pig.
Quite frankly i was really disappointed that I was even subjected to
that kind of conversation, you are also a reflection of who you
associate with, and I do not, and will never condone hate towards
another group of people.
I couldn't help but wonder, how would that conversation have gone had
there been a black couple present, or even just a black guy.
I have no problem discussing stereo types with people-- in fact I often
do, with those groups of people-- I want to know, on a cultural level
what the deal is, and you know what, I've never met one person unwilling
to have a civilized conversation about why stereotypes exist-- but this
was FLAT out racism, and I'm disgusted.. I'm also looking for some new
I love the couple that invited us over, but as the host and hostess,
they showed what kind of conversation they condone by allowing him so
spew hate.. In my house, he would have been asked to leave. I am 100%
intolerant of intolerance.
So the moral of the story is, don't avoid controversy when you are faced with it.. it is a test to stand up for what is right. SO stand up for what you believe to be right, even if you are the only one. In the very least you will give people something to think about... and if they don't think, then, at least they will avoid ass-hole conversations around you in the future.