mom visits. reconciliations with BP. & the universe.

I've been having a nice time with my mother these past few days. Just a lot of wandering around and chit chatting. Yesterday we took my new friend Brenda, who is a 65+ woman that I met at the Red Cross, to the beach with us. Three generations of women sharing, laughing and swimming. It was glorious. Brenda and I are going to be great friends. I can already tell-- we're kindred hearts.
 Mom and I are dress shopping in just a few days with R's mom, should be exciting.
I got some news from one of my favorite family members today-- it was sad(ish) news, but ultimately, I think she will endure and come out on top, so all you energy people need to send her lots of love. I promised her that her love-tank would be so full of love she wouldn't know what to do with herself. 
 Then my grandmother called me with some more unfortunate news re: my parents. Honestly, she didn't tell me anything I didn't already know, but when the people around me hurt, I hurt
Friends, family, bloggers, and enemies alike..  When one hurts, We all hurt. 
That's how the universe works. 
We are taught to go through life thinking we are these individuals-- unshaken & unaffected by the misfortune & happiness of others, but when you become one with with the world & your peers, you find yourself laughing with people just as often as you find yourself mourning with them. Feeling their pain. Their pride. Their pleasure. Their struggles. Their contentedness.
Life is such a complex web. Intricately painful, whimsically wonderful, swirling with the unrelenting urge to find peace. Find it within, and enjoy the rest because today is all we've got. 
(You all need to get a hammock, I'm telling you, it is making me wiser.)
 We make choices to be happy, even when we are in pain. We choose how to experience life-- even through adversity and accidents-- the only control we really have in life is how we react. How we endure. How we filter the pain and turn it into something beautiful.

As a bipolar person, I have often struggled with this aspect of my life tremendously. On a regular basis I am catapulted into extremes. 
Extreme depression. Extreme aptitude. Extreme apathy. Extreme interest.  
This is a karmic lesson I am finally embracing. 
It's an opportunity to be extremely empathetic. Extremely compassionate. Extremely humble. Extremely content and it is truly a remarkable gift that I have been given in this life and I realized that today through the adversity of someone I love tremendously. 
Every little thing that happens in life is a source to become more connected with those around us and to the Universe, and God..
 On a lighter note..
I probably get to see my sweet cousin Walker today-- we are birthmark twins (same shape, same place, same arm, almost the same color-- it's freaky) and I think being Birth Mark twins, also makes us soul mates or something.. because we look alike, talk a like and LOVE each other fiercely! We're also both November baby's, although we are 2 years apart in age. I will also get to see my Aunt & her baby (who is 1.5 now, and we've never met). 
I will also indulge myself in Fish n' Chips and a New Castle. Calories & grease galore. Nom. Nom.

I hope everyone is having a beautiful weekend filled with knowledge, compassion and love.



  1. This was a beautiful post. I'm sorry people around you are hurting. I am also a person of extremes...it can be stressful, and is always hard to learn how to moderate. Wishing you the best lovely lady.

  2. Likewise, very sorry to hear that your family and loved ones are hurting. You are truly a compassionate person for sharing these pains so acutely. Please send my best wishes to fill their love-tanks...in no time, hopefully they will be full to bursting! I usually live in extremes too...I'm either very happy, very sad, or very...well, anything. It's not easy. Kind of like a roller coaster, I guess. But when all else fails we can always embrace it and just enjoy the ride.


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