A rant from a girl with a boy name.

Whats in a name? Do you like yours? Are you named after someone?

What got me thinking about names was, I renamed one of my cats this weekend.

What? I can't do that? WHY not? 

She likes her new name.  Before she was just called Mah, or mama girl, or mommy cat, or something equally stupid.

The "boys" have cool names, Bartlebe and Loki. (Yes, from Dogma).

Some of my plants have names too, we have Goomba (a pitcher plant), and Ticus and Spikus the Ficus.

If the plants have cooler names than the mom cat, then there is a problem.

So, this weekend we renamed her Charlie.

Like Charlie the Unicorn, Charlie.
{Mostly because I love to say... Chhaaaarrrrrrrrllllllllliiiiiiiieeeeee--uhhhhh.}

I might be bias, but I love girls with boys names, and my girl cat deserves a good name because she is a good cat.

She is responding well to this change and I think it's giving her a little more MOJO, to take on the boys when she gets bullied. 

(The boys like to gang up on their mom-- all last week she had a swollen eye from getting banged around by them.. isn't that horrible! It isn't a fair fight either since those boys are 18 and 20 lbs, and she is a whopping 9 lbs--Bartlebe got his 3rd kitty time-out in his 6 years of life last night for pinning her down and biting her, bad kitties)

{annnnd, I love disgruntled unicorns. :)}

So back to names... in case you haven't noticed, I have a "boys" name. It has some perks, but there are days find myself wanting to strangle the next person who points out the gender of my name, which is why I am here now, and if you don't mind, I'd like to vent, because I don't like feeling the urge to strangle someone.

No my parents were not expecting a boy. Yes they noticed I am in fact a female, and YES I am aware that it is historically a "mans" name.

If I had a dollar for every time I was asked one of those questions, I promise you I'd be filthy, stink'n, rich and would probably be able to purchase that Carolina Herrera dress I posted yesterday.

You know... every time I meet someone with the name, lets say..... Ashley the first thing out of my mouth isn't:

"Isn't that a girls name?"
or "Wow your name starts with an A."
or "Wow, I know so many girls named Ashley, couldn't your parents have gotten a little more original??"

(No offense to you Ashley's out there, your name was just the first one to pop into my head!)

The point is, every other person I meet has something to say (good, bad, or indifferent) about  my name.

Does everyone else get this or is it just because I have a dudes name?

Aside from my name reminding me that there are a LOT of folks out there that love to point out the obvious, my name also comes with some slight inconveniences.. like.. sometimes I have to show my ID to the waiter/ress when I use my debit card, but no one else at the table does..

This has happened to me 3 times this year, wtf? Yesterday being the 4th.

I mean really, if you want to make sure fraud is not happening, don't ya think you should check everyone's card? I find this especially annoying when I have already showed my ID in order to purchase an adult beverage.

I try not to get offended, because it is stupid, but to make myself feel better I usually leave a little note on the receipt that says something like...  

"Don't name discriminate! Girls with boys names have feelings too! If you are worried about fraud please check the ID of every person paying with a CC" 

The problem is, I enjoy tipping well, but now I am annoyed by you, so I really, so badly just want to give you a 10% tip, even if despite annoying me you deserve a 25% tip. The note allows me to justify giving a fair 20%.

Working retail with a boys name was the WORST. I had an older man say to me once, "A woman should not have a mans name.. what were your parents thinking?"

Yup, that actually happened and being a hormonal seventeen year old junior in high school at the time, I couldn't help but burst into tears right then and there; which is rather embarrassing when you are tending to a Christmas checkout line at Borders, and your male manager is looking at you like you are completely insane.

In my day I have gone by many names. In elementary and middle school I went by my middle name because there were 4 Ryan's in my second grade class, and two of those 4 were Ryan S's-- so I sacrificed my boys names, for my more androgynous middle name, Adair.

During these years I would often force my friends and family to call me Skylar. Skylar was my Australian exchanged student alter-ego, who aspired to be a paleontologist in the great out back and a marine biologist who studied the great barrier reef. I was strange & I loved to act, and Skylar is an awesome name.

I went to a high school out of the district I grew up in, so I switched back to Ryan. (I was getting tired of the "Adair, I uh-DARE you to bla bla bla") Plus my dad was confused by the whole middle name thing, he didn't understand why I just wouldn't go by Ryan. (Thanks dad) So I went by Ryan, but I spelled my name R-I-A-N, instead of what is legal, with a Y. I thought the I made it more girly. 

Then by the time I got to college, I just didn't give a flying-duck anymore, so I just went by my legal name, with the legal spelling. So now I am just Ryan, and Adair to those I grew up with.

As you can tell, I have had some major identity crises-- Crises that could have been avoided had my mother named me something more, normal or gender appropriate.

But the truth is, even if my name has caused some slight confusion & frustration, I love being a girl with a boys name. I can't imagine any other name that would suit me as well as Ryan does and the best part about my name is, I almost always stand out and even folks who claim to never remember names, usually remember mine. Another perk is, I hardly ever meet any chicks with my name, and when I do, we almost always have an instant bond.

So yes, I have a boys name.. my parents purposely gave me this name, I assure you when I was born they noticed right away that I  did not have a penis (and for the record I still do not, nor do I care to ever, have a penis)... and you know what, I freaking like my name even if it makes me like pointer-outers-of-the-obvious less and occasionally forces me to leave notes on receipts and sometimes leaves me wanting to strangle something.

I am a Ryan, and I think that's awesome.

{end rant.}

...And should I reproduce, all of my girls will be subject to the same torture I have endured, and they too will become girls with boys names!


  1. Hahahaha! I hated my name until middle school because I only knew boys named Courtney! It's STILL weird when I get introduced to a boy named Courtney.... I sometimes wonder if they are playing a joke on me?
    The best was when I went to a mission reunion with Eric and one of his old companions was named Courtney and he thought Eric told me to tell him my name was Courtney.... um. We're not 4 years old and playing lame jokes on each other anymore! Haha, he was pretty annoyed until he found out we weren't joking!

  2. My name, Trista, has the same issue but not exactly. My name doesn't get confused for a boy but people don't know how to pronounce or even spell my name. A lot of times I get called Kystal/Crystal and people want to spell my name "Krista" or "Tresta" or "Triste" and it's frustrating. Since my full name is Trista-lee, I was once called Crystiline.

    But it's something I've gotten used to over the years.

  3. names are so important and often overlooked as such! when i adopted my kitties they were given new names... a completely fresh start, i told them. new life, new names. she was called "loki" {yes, from dogma} and he jackson or "jack-jack" {from 'the incredibles', because he is apt to make serious mischief if you don't watch.}

    and if you think ryan was tough, i know of a girl growing up called wayne.

    great post!



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