Be better, not bitter.

I wouldn't consider myself a bitter person, but I certainly haven't always taken advantage of the adversities I faced as a young lass. 

I had to grow up way too fast, that's the short of the long
at times, I have been really bitter about and hurt by my past.

On many levels, I subconsciously felt like since I didn't deserve a good childhood;
I don't deserve all the good I have now. 
I know, I know.

Instead of focusing my energies on what I had gained from those experiences; 
I focused on what was lost. 

I knew my past molded me into the interesting person I am today, 
but I never really embraced it.
I am the most positive when it pertains to others
I am doing myself a disservice by not fully believing that my past has made me a better person.. 
in return, that has left me quite bitter towards, and often resentful of my parents and family.
Especially when my accomplishments have gone unnoticed.

Not to mention I have always felt huge disconnect between myself and peers.

I've never tried to change the past, or dwell on it for too long;
but I have let it haunt me.
 In moments of weakness, my past is having a field day in my head.

I owe it to my future and present self to really focus on how my past has helped me become a better, more compassionate, empathetic and giving person. 
Those are all good things, and things I really believe about myself... 
so this shouldn't be too hard.

What's haunting you from your past that is holding you back?



  1. Ryan,

    I am going to write this in my personal organizer has soon as i finish typing my message 'I owe it to my future and present self to really focus on how my past has helped me become a better, more compassionate, empathetic and giving person.'

    I want to read this every time I get in a weird place. thanks for this post.

    Also, i love the use of the different fonts. it added character to the piece.

    Hurricane update: last night i heard that it will not be coming my way. Although i am relieved, i hope you and your family will be safe.

    Last thing: thanks for the comment. It made me smile when i needed to smile.


  2. I can really relate to this. I had a relatively tumultuous childhood with an unstable Mom (no major abuse, just a lot of instability) and I've let it poison my mind before. I think it's a lot of the reason why I feel so undeserving of love.

    I love reading more about you, lady, thank you for your honesty!

  3. Very inspiring. I think you have made a lot of good points. While it is easy to get stuck in the past and let it bog us down I feel we can use everything we have learned (both the positive and the negative lessons) to improve ourselves and help others. We can use the past to make a better future...and in this way we find comfort in the chaos.

    Good luck!



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