I wouldn't consider myself a bitter person, but I certainly haven't always taken advantage of the adversities I faced as a young lass.
I had to grow up way too fast, that's the short of the long;
at times, I have been really bitter about and hurt by my past.
On many levels, I subconsciously felt like since I didn't deserve a good childhood;
I don't deserve all the good I have now.
I know, I know.
Instead of focusing my energies on what I had gained from those experiences;
I focused on what was lost.
I knew my past molded me into the interesting person I am today,
but I never really embraced it.
I am the most positive when it pertains to others.
I am doing myself a disservice by not fully believing that my past has made me a better person..
in return, that has left me quite bitter towards, and often resentful of my parents and family.
Especially when my accomplishments have gone unnoticed.
Not to mention I have always felt huge disconnect between myself and peers.
I've never tried to change the past, or dwell on it for too long;
but I have let it haunt me.
In moments of weakness, my past is having a field day in my head.
I owe it to my future and present self to really focus on how my past has helped me become a better, more compassionate, empathetic and giving person.
Those are all good things, and things I really believe about myself...
so this shouldn't be too hard.
What's haunting you from your past that is holding you back?
xo,
r
Ryan,
ReplyDeleteI am going to write this in my personal organizer has soon as i finish typing my message 'I owe it to my future and present self to really focus on how my past has helped me become a better, more compassionate, empathetic and giving person.'
I want to read this every time I get in a weird place. thanks for this post.
Also, i love the use of the different fonts. it added character to the piece.
Hurricane update: last night i heard that it will not be coming my way. Although i am relieved, i hope you and your family will be safe.
Last thing: thanks for the comment. It made me smile when i needed to smile.
Lioness
<3
ReplyDeleteI can really relate to this. I had a relatively tumultuous childhood with an unstable Mom (no major abuse, just a lot of instability) and I've let it poison my mind before. I think it's a lot of the reason why I feel so undeserving of love.
ReplyDeleteI love reading more about you, lady, thank you for your honesty!
Very inspiring. I think you have made a lot of good points. While it is easy to get stuck in the past and let it bog us down I feel we can use everything we have learned (both the positive and the negative lessons) to improve ourselves and help others. We can use the past to make a better future...and in this way we find comfort in the chaos.
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
~SP