Engagement pics, the white pages & no kids please.

It's been a week since I've been 'round these parts. I've been a busy lady. So hey guys.

We got our engagement pictures back & I love them. I've got such a handsome man. 

So there they are. We had a lot of fun. 
There are more, but I am too lazy to post them.. so these will have to do. ;)
Side note: After this shoot I shaved Robs head with a #3, and I cut off ALL of my hair. Ha.
(I'm trying to get the dye out!)

So since engagements usually lead to weddings, I've been collecting all the "data" we need for our guest list.  

HOW in the WORLD did folks get the info they needed without the Internet? Seriously, data collecting was so much easier than I thought it would be.

Out of 107 addresses needed, I got 93 of them in 6 hours time-- either via email, facebook or the white pages. Some folks didn't respond to my emails, and I didn't send emails to about 8 people because I am still not sure if we can invite them-- but for most of my family I know what city they live in, and could recognize their street name so the white pages online were especially helpful for that.

Now I just need to settle on a Save-the-Date and invitation design.

I managed to get a "wedding blog" started in lieu of a wedding website-- mainly because I know how to WORK a blog, and don't feel like dealing with a website.. I spent a lot of time on a FAQ page mainly for the purpose of driving home the fact that we are not inviting children to the wedding, and I've been reading HORROR stories online about this.

Honestly, I don't really understand why parents insist on bringing their children to events they are not invited to. If I were a parent, I would love the opportunity to have an evening/afternoon amongst adults and it's not like you get last minute notice for a wedding. Usually you receive an invite 6-8 weeks in advance, I'm sure you can find SOMEONE reliable to babysit.

Etiquette would suggest that only those addressed on the invitation are invited, and yet, most brides/grooms requesting that parents leave the little ones at home by omitting their names on the envelope, received RSVP cards back indicating the whole family would be coming. Awkward.

I am of the school that it is tacky to write "Adults Only" on the invitation, and I've also heard that word of mouth is practically useless.. so I'm at a loss.

Here is my issue on the kids thing-- I have a HUGE family (on BOTH sides, and I have step-family too) that means there are a lot of children & teenagers-- I honestly really enjoy my cousins, BUT my venue does not require that we have a "licensed" bartender, which means any under-aged drinking/debauchery is something we are liable for since WE are renting the place. Really, I'm just not interested in making sure this doesn't happen at our wedding, so the solution is, 21 & up only. The venue not requiring us to have a licensed/insured bartender was one of the reasons we CHOSE the venue because that cuts alcohol costs practically in half. A major perk when you are on the starving-artist budget.

The second issue is, since I do indeed have a large (& wonderful) family we've had to "B-list" a lot of our friends. Friends that we do not get to see often now that we live in a different part of the state, and friends whom I'd like to invite over my 20 kid-cousins.  

So here is how I approached it on my FAQ section of the wedding blog, tell me what you think:

Q: Are Children invited?
A: While we love to watch children run and play, this event will be an adults only day! 

If anyone, in or out of state, needs assistance in making arrangements for child care, please let us know and we will do our best to assist you.

Q:  May I bring my Furry, scaly or teenaged child?

A: Unfortunately, we are only able to accommodate humans over the age of 21 at our wedding.

I tried to approached it lightheartedly-- but I wanted to make the point.  

No kids. No teenagers too. Sorry.

I have two couples from out-of-state with children and I plan on addressing them separately since it is likely they will be making the trip to Florida with their children (ya know, Disney & Orlando go hand in hand). I think they are a fair exception to the rule.. right? 

There is also the possibility no one will check out the site, and I will just have to be blunt about it.

Welp-- my morning has flown on by.

I hope the week treats you all well.



  1. The engagement pictures are GORGEOUS and you two look amazing together. aaah the infmaous no-kids dilemna. We opted for the website FAQ also. I know more than half of our guests who received Save The Dates probably haven't looked at the website though. A friend of mine got married a year ago and although the books say its tacky, she said she would go back and say Adult-Only on her invitations or RSVP's. We're also doing the "We have reserved __ seats in your honor" on the RSVP's. Not sure if some of our guests with children under 18 will understand that but I hope so. I'm sure there will be some phone calls we will have to make anyway! Looking forward to THAT task! (totally sarcastic)Good luck with everything! :)

  2. Your engagement photos came out fantastic! You guys are so cute!

    I don't envy you, the whole "Are the kids invited?" subject is one of the touchiest things in wedding planning... You've just got to be firm about what you want, but the reality is there's always somebody who's going to get butt hurt about it, and there might even be a few people who don't go because they can't bear being away from their kids that long... and in some cases, you might even have a kid who's totally upset that they're not invited (I was that child, when my cousin Rita got married when I was 10, I was absolutely beside myself upset that I wasn't invited because of my age).

  3. I totally got RSVPs listing whole families despite the fact that the invitations only addressed the parents. It's insane to me that this is a common occurance... What is wrong with people?

  4. I adore your engagement pictures, especially the one of you twirling on the beach. Seriously, gorgeous.

    Knowing the most people either won't read the FAQ page or assume they are the exception to the rule, you have to put something on your save the date AND invitation. And honestly, you could always lie which I suck at but still. Just put "21+ only, please" and if anyone questions you, just say that because you aren't having a licensed bartender you've signed an agreement that it will be 21+ otherwise you can rack up additional fees or something. Which... is kind of true in a distorted kind of way. ;) The other option is having people come to the ceremony and then putting cousins in charge of watching each other somewhere? Maybe they have a big sleep over or something and you can have baskets of treats/movies or something for them as a "wish you were 21 to get drunk with us" kind of thing? :)

  5. Your engagement pictures are great - you both look so happy!
    Also I totally get where you're coming from on the kids thing. We had kids at our wedding which I didn't really want, but for the most part they were actually surprisingly well behaved. That or I was too busy to notice the mischief they were getting up to!

  6. Ryan, you are just BEAUTIFUL and he's not so bad himself! Seriously, you couldn't be any cuter! The mop chop was a good call, I love the short cut.
    My advice, STICK TO YOUR GUNS. Don't let anyone tell you how to plan your Wedding... It's so easy to get caught up in everyone elses idea of a perfect Wedding and forget your own ideas. Maybe your FAQ should warn everyone that speeches and music may include adult content, alcohol will be consumed w/o a license and the venue enourages adults of 21 and over at the event? Do your Wedding invites tell guests to check out your Blog for more information? Encourage your friends and family to spread the word that it's a cocktail event for adults only, and with your Blog giving the deets, I'm sure it will turn out the way you want it!
    Yay! So happy to see the Wedding posts coming along! :)
    R XO

  7. Those pictures are beautiful and your haircut looks amazing!

    I'm sure if you send out invitations, you'll need to explain. Some people believe an invitation without "family" at the end means the whole family is invited and you didn't have time to name everybody. Then there's people that think they are the exception to the rule.
    "21 & up only" seems reasonable. Go for blunt definitely.


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