In middle school, the student counsel would sell carnations and my friends and I would all buy each other a couple so we wouldn't feel bad about not having boyfriends or something. Occasionally one of us would get one from S.O.S, but usually we just sent them to each other so we could prance around with cheap flowers that somehow gave us some self worth and validated our popularity. (Ugh, middle school is the worst)
I remember one time I sent an "SOS" to this girl in my class who had no friends. Every time valentines day comes around I think about sitting in Mr. Phillips 6th grade social studies class where this girl received the last thing she was expecting for the day, a white carnation.
On the love-gram or whatever, I wrote.. A flower and smile for you!
...and smile she did.
I wasn't trying to make her think she had a secret admirer or anything, I just always felt so bad that she was alone all the time, and I just wasn't a good enough person back then to be friends with someone who was not already accepted in "the group." But I did send her a flower, and even in retrospect I know I sent it with good intentions.
I am glad I have this memory because it reminds me that we aren't always going to have the best kind of friends in our life, we aren't always going to have someone to come home to, and we aren't always going to be showered with gifts and flowers, and sometimes loving another person is really hard work.. but we always have the opportunity to love ourselves and create moments that we are proud of.
Love happens around here all the time, so I don't think we are going to do anything special tonight-- except maybe an extra 15 mins of cardio at the gym-- and maybe I will cut R's chicken into a heart shape or something... but I just wanted to say..
If you don't have a valentine and you are bah-humbugging the day-- I don't blame you!!
Just remember it will be over tomorrow!
Happy Valentines Days!
...and if you don't feel loved by anyone else, just know that I love you and R does too!