Hit or miss.

I've been avoiding the blogspace lately.

I don't know what it has been lately, but I guess I feel like blogs that lack substance (in my opinion) are the most popular-- I just can't get into all the fashion posts, copy-cat pinterest DIY's, and "sponsor my blog" posts.

Can we just keep it real? I want to know about YOU.

Not your closet, or your desperation for extra income.

I'm not trying to be judgey-- but I can't be the only one that goes through their blogroll completely disinterested in almost every post. The most frustrating thing for me has been a lot of blogs I use to like, lost their individuality. Sometimes I feel like blogging is an extension of High School-- all the popular kids are conformist, and the creative/quirky kids aren't really given the time of day even though they are the most interesting.

ANYway, because of all that, I have a hard time seeing where I fit into the blogworld. The more I express my true self, the less readers I seem to have. I don't take that personally: I'm not interested in fashion, or documenting every DIY project I make. I don't go out much. I'm not a socialite. I don't have any kids and I'm not that interested in weddings (even though I am planning one). Of course there are a ton of bloggers out there that talk about their kids, or wedding ideas or fashion blips that I find interesting.. but for the most part, I am bored with bloggers.

I do like to share my journey-- quirks and differences aside. But I have to admit, I started blogging in hopes of reaching out to folks who share interests, maybe making some friends.. but that hasn't really happened.

I feel really out of place.


Things around here have been a little crazy.

R is working seven days a week, 9am-1am. It is insane. I see how tired he is, and I just feel so bad. I know this is the career he signed up for, and crazy hours during this season are inevitable, but I miss spending time with my guy. Our time has been limited to cuddling at night, and sometimes he wakes up early enough for us to have breakfast/Coffee together-- lately though, he's been rushing out the door to make it to work on time.

R had the day off on Saturday (due to a brown out), so we went for a hike in Malibu's Solstice Canyon. There is a lovely waterfall and stream at the end of the trail, so I brought my crystals with me for a little cleansing and enjoyed a really lovely meditation in the sun.

One of my good friends from High School, my "sister from another mister," Desi-- is working in LA this week, so I had a little dinner party on Sunday night which was a lot of fun. I got to introduce one of my new good friends with one of my old good friends. Red wine was flowing, and apparently the food was good.

I finally got most of the skunk smell out of our place-- but I occassionally still smell it. The smell seems to stick to metal. It's gross.

I've been a little disappointed with wedding planning. I sent out our invites Jan 3rd, and I have only received about 4 RSVP cards in the mail, and a handful of online RSVP's-- I guess I thought I would have a lot more "excitement" from my family-- but unfortunately, everyone seems really caught up in their own lives.

My family has never really been great at validating me: calling me back, emailing me back, or facebooking me back. I am pretty good at keeping in touch with friends and family.. even though the thought is rarely reciprocated, but after a while it really starts to feel like rejection and lately it's really been eating at me.

I have to admit, without my guy around I've been pretty lonely. Most of my friends work for the same company that Rob works for, and the few times I have tried to "put myself out there".. I end up feeling like a freaking weirdo.

At least I have SKYRIM and cats to entertain me.

le sigh.

Hope everyone is well.

Namaste.

r