This is my favorite time of year, next to November of course.
Last Friday driving south on 95 I saw one of the largest storm walls I've seen in a while-- the kind of wall that brings on the big storms and twisting winds. Cattle fields are a great place to see some sweet lightening strikes, 95 is surrounded by them.
I watched that wall open up, and fall from the sky. It all seemed so perfect, and a message just for me.
It's been no secret that I have been on a journey this year.
I've been a spiritual seeker my entire life. I started young with questioning, examining, reflecting, questioning, questioning.. questioning.....
So many questions all of the time.
What is different about this year is that I have finally found some answers.
I've lived my life wanting to accept it as it is, while simultaneously hating how it was, how I was, how they were.. and recently I realized that finding purpose, the higher meaning, in everything is where you find peace. In those moments of reflection and acceptance you realize that it all means something more.. food for your soul to fuel the cosmic journey.
I've spent the past several years living my life as a recluse, hiding from the world. I've been trying so hard to avoid the next realization, and that is.. I have actually been hiding from myself--my true authentic self.
I read in a book yesterday that it is hard to know your authentic self without truly knowing others, and I realized that by hiding from others (because I am afraid of getting hurt, or because I think we have nothing in common) puts me in the mind set where its me vs the world.
Me vs. Them.
Life isn't actually like that. We are all cosmically connected, each person we encounter.. via blogging, at Starbucks, the homeless guy in Chicago that I made friends with 7 years ago, friends and foes alike all have a purpose, a story, a message, for us-- they are fuel to our cosmic fire, and I'm ready to stop living in the dark.
We are all just a bunch of mirrors shining reflections and light onto and into each other, if you don't like what you see in other people seek within yourself.. you will see that once you forgive yourself for being flawed, you will see life exactly how it actually is.. a web of beautifully imperfect circumstances that make up a universe of light and moving things.
Today is truly the first day of the rest of my life.