tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-804218218752322984.post7165660294067588570..comments2023-04-28T11:59:15.993-04:00Comments on This Must be The Place: On the heart breaking-- This is what friends are for.Ryan Adairhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03955942317337267701noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-804218218752322984.post-61867327229942387072012-03-12T15:03:25.068-04:002012-03-12T15:03:25.068-04:00Thanks for the comment.
I know exactly where thi...Thanks for the comment. <br /><br />I know exactly where this person is coming from, as I have been in her shoes.. I realize when life is hard-- it makes you hard. I mostly just feel bad that this person has so much pain in their heart that they cant see how they are hurting themselves and the people who love them. <br /><br />Anger is toxic-- it's best to just let it go-- return to sender! :)Ryan Adairhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03955942317337267701noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-804218218752322984.post-14051931479237078902012-03-12T12:03:14.965-04:002012-03-12T12:03:14.965-04:00I'm sorry that you're on the recieving end...I'm sorry that you're on the recieving end of someone else's misplaced anger/bitterness. Speaking as someone who has struggled with anger issues in the past, I think you are doing the right thing by continuing to treat this person respectfully and with kindness even though I'm sure it is excrutiating. Anger and bitterness, however misplaced, are very strong feelings that are difficult to let go of, so it may take a long time in your case. <br />Hopefully one day he/she will see you are who you say you are. I liked your analogy of anger/hot coal, I've never heard that. I'll try to remember that one next time I get really angry.GurlNxtDoorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11905944953526913465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-804218218752322984.post-87609437088133050032012-03-11T22:09:16.742-04:002012-03-11T22:09:16.742-04:00"In the end, having anger is like holding a h..."In the end, having anger is like holding a hot coal with the intent to throw it at someone else-- you are the one who gets burned in the end."<br /><br />That's it. You seem like a great person, but you don't need to justify it. All I could see when I was reading about this person is how they are harboring a great deal of insecurities, and it seems like the only way for them to validate themself is to bring others like yourself down. I have learned that the better you are, the harder people are going to try to bring you down. It is very easy to fall into a life of jealousy and internal rage. I feel deeply sorry for this person for not being able to rise above their own obvious problems. I'm very sorry you have to be constantly bullied, but you are doing the right thing by being nice. That is the ONLY solution. Any other negative response will trigger a domino effect of more bullying. I'm proud of you, and you should be too. <br /><br />I know it's hard to not let this person get to you, but just remember how great of a person you are. Knowing the truth about yourself is all you need. :)Tina Golightlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09270136834110824902noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-804218218752322984.post-87209086760667685042012-03-10T16:19:03.234-05:002012-03-10T16:19:03.234-05:00What it comes down to with this person s they are ...What it comes down to with this person s they are just still carrying around pain from the past-- which is something i can sympathize with--- but purposely hurting someone because you are hurting is just not ok. Is whole thing actually got resolved last night-- it was a game of chess, that r and I ended up winning. I'll write about it soon! Thanks for the love!Ryan Adairhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03955942317337267701noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-804218218752322984.post-88702103558267641492012-03-10T16:15:18.935-05:002012-03-10T16:15:18.935-05:00Thank you!Thank you!Ryan Adairhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03955942317337267701noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-804218218752322984.post-35625024415064401162012-03-10T16:14:34.563-05:002012-03-10T16:14:34.563-05:00Luckily my inlaws are 100% on our side.
Sorry to ...Luckily my inlaws are 100% on our side.<br /><br />Sorry to hear about your MIL.. Why do people have to be so wacky!?can't we all just love each other!?Ryan Adairhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03955942317337267701noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-804218218752322984.post-39010543371908293632012-03-10T16:11:56.085-05:002012-03-10T16:11:56.085-05:00:)
I guess it's a small enough town-- but I&...:) <br /><br />I guess it's a small enough town-- but I'm not worried about this person fi ding a dirt on me, there is none. I think I was mostly pissed at how flippant she was towards me.Ryan Adairhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03955942317337267701noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-804218218752322984.post-25127710130342872892012-03-10T12:28:16.147-05:002012-03-10T12:28:16.147-05:00Ryan,
I like to think your blog reflects your tru...Ryan,<br /><br />I like to think your blog reflects your true personality, and nothing I have ever read warrants such unjust anger from this person. I don't want to sound like I'm blindly supporting you because I'm biased, but in this instance I'm fully behind you because they have yet to come up with a reasonable argument for their beliefs about you. As you have written, you can basically refute all of their points...and quite well. So it's somewhat baffling to consider what grudge they hold against you, because no matter which way you look at the situation it does not make logical sense. My only possible conclusion? Jealousy. Generally, when a person directs such anger at someone with no just cause, there is a certain amount of jealousy or resentment involved. What are they jealous of? I don't know. But haters gonna hate. I think it's best to remember that you have R, he has you, and nothing can ever challenge that...no matter how hard someone tries. Also, the fact that you are wishing them well in the face of such bashing...it shows a lot about your character. I consider myself a good person, but I would never be quite as gracious or classy.<br /><br />~ShaneShaneiferdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04803942549686024139noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-804218218752322984.post-25053252167377212302012-03-10T11:22:18.718-05:002012-03-10T11:22:18.718-05:00Some people just really suck and there isn't a...Some people just really suck and there isn't anything you or R can do about that. But what you can do is continue being the good person you are, nurture your relationship with each other together and be happy. Maybe you close the book on that person because I don't care if you are related or not, nobody deserves to be treated that way. I have struggled with my MIL in the past and my solution is I'm just not there for family events. She doesn't want me there, I don't want to be talked down to and insulted the entire time, so it's best I just be the bigger person and not go. I'm OK with that, then Matt and I don't fight. We've now been married for almost 8 years and only NOW does my MIL think that maybe I'm in it for the long haul. So.. whatever. She lost 8 years with a pretty awesome person if I do say so myself. :)Sara Strandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02641499434694637445noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-804218218752322984.post-17666890883104133862012-03-10T10:24:20.983-05:002012-03-10T10:24:20.983-05:00That person sounds like a petty weiner who is tryi...That person sounds like a petty weiner who is trying to stir up some drama. I don't know where you live, but it sounds like a small town drama queen to me. I used to live in a town of around 5000 people and shit like that drove me BANANAS. <br /><br />The faithful/spiritual attack is the worst, I think. First of all it's none of their business! Secondly, what did that have to do with the conversation? I'm getting all outraged over here.novahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10999587070684124074noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-804218218752322984.post-59889137453552420332012-03-09T22:05:50.962-05:002012-03-09T22:05:50.962-05:00Thank you lady. <3Thank you lady. <3Ryan Adairhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03955942317337267701noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-804218218752322984.post-34291938380697481462012-03-09T21:55:43.230-05:002012-03-09T21:55:43.230-05:00Aww thank you.
I love you too!Aww thank you. <br /><br />I love you too!Ryan Adairhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03955942317337267701noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-804218218752322984.post-22115287957730897702012-03-09T21:34:00.783-05:002012-03-09T21:34:00.783-05:00I agree with Caitlin, that you did not deserve thi...I agree with Caitlin, that you did not deserve this person's (obviously misplaced) anger. There must be something big going on with them that they cannot share, but is obviously bothering them in a big enough way to try to bring you down with them.<br />I have to say, I can completely respect and understand you not going to your family with this. I have learned (the hard way) that the things you might not want remembered are usually the things that stick out in people's heads. I am having a hard time and will probably have a hard time the rest of my life dealing with things I have shared about my relationships in the past. <br />Ryan, you are incredible and so is your other half, and together you guys will never be anything less than amazing.<br />Love you.Kate as of Latehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07930063277541667018noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-804218218752322984.post-83427740333309391432012-03-09T19:18:35.218-05:002012-03-09T19:18:35.218-05:00I don't know you in person but I am positive t...I don't know you in person but I am positive that you are a genuine, kind human being who doesn't deserve the odd cruelty that this person is throwing your way. It is frustrating when people hide behind a religion and judge others when they don't personally live the beliefs they pretend to espouse. <br /><br />If it makes you feel better--my Rob (haha) has been in college since 2008 when he got out of the Army. His GI Bill barely covered his expenses and his half of the rent, but I paid for groceries, cable electricity, cell phones, etc. (even before we were married) because I made (and still make) more money. Now that he has a job, he'll start pitching in more because he can. Before that, when Rob was in the Army and I was in college, he paid for all the plane tickets and hotels because I simply didn't make money. I know now that if something happened and I couldn't work (or if I decide to stay home with kids) Rob would have no problem acting as the breadwinner. This is what a relationship is about--knowing you're there for each other. And clearly you're not out buying $900 purses with his money, so I really don't see any issue. I'm sure if the situation were reversed you'd support Rob without complaint.<br /><br />I know it's hard to let go of what cruel, judgmental people say, especially when they're family and it's not as easy to just let them go. I think your head is in the right place, reminding yourself that you are a good person. <br /><br />Sending you love and good vibes!Caitlinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12624818442174838361noreply@blogger.com